A Father Learns How to Course Correct and Reconnect Quickly
A couple things we are learning..
Terri and I have gone through a lot the last year or so. Much to learn about ourselves and how we respond to each other. By God’s grace and great teaching I am learning to pursue Terri all over again. It takes much humility and brokenness on both of our parts but the fruit is undeniable. We are learning to connect and share like no other time in our marriage. Our children are responding because they no longer see the hypocrisy in lives. We have learned to pursue our children and even at 22,18,16 and 14 they are responding. Basically, we did NOT have a voice in their lives because of the guilt and shame which produced blame. That blame was pointed at each other and our children to measure up even if we failed to do so.
The burdens are light and the yoke is easy. We are starting to share this with many couples that we had thought were in great shape and other couples that were near dead. They all had pride and resentment built up over the many years of marriage and child-raising. Like us, the fear of our children moving on to their next stage and us left with each other was a bit scary for some and others a huge dilemma. “Do I stay in this painful relationship or do I quit and move on”. Terri and I have learned how to reengage, rekindle the love for each other and pursue each other like no other time in our marriage. Yes we have failures (arguments) but instead of disconnecting for days or weeks we have learned to talk through the issues and hear each other’s heart in the matter and reconnect within the same day. Simply put, those messes are becoming teaching points to encourage other couples. It’s not the absence of failure or trouble in a marriage but how quickly you learn to course correct and reconnect with each other that determines success.
Posted by Chris Hogan on Mar 02, 2011
